I am FURIOUS!

Okay, furious is a really strong word and probably not the best choice for how I'm feeling, but I am very angry and frustrated. Gabe has been asking to go to the skate park for a few weeks now. I guess he has a friend at school really talking it up. I finally, after putting it off for as long as humanly possible, agreed to take him today after school. Of course I hyped it up and even used our trip to the skate park as leverage. Oh don't judge, you do it too. "If you don't stop_____we won't go to the skate park."

So the appointed hour has arrived and we are primed for fun. I go into the community center to change out of my work clothes and ask the lady behind the desk if we need to do anything special to use the skate park. She says, "I'm sorry, the skate park is closed". CLOSED! I wanted to plead my case and sway her with how highly anticipated this trip to the skate park is. I wanted to tell her that she holds the shattered dreams of a 7 year old in the palm of her hand and that 7 year old was standing just on the other side of the glass double doors. I held back and instead asked...

Me: Why?
Lady: Some out of control teenagers have been breaking the rules and even made gyrating motions at me.
Me: Why didn't you kick them out instead of punishing everyone in the community?
Lady: We are trying to send a strong message that this kind of behavior won't be tolerated.

Okay this is where my soapbox starts...

This is a perfect example of why our society is in the pits. We no longer have clear consequences for our actions. You break something?, you fix it. You're rude and disrespectful in a public place?, you are kicked out for a certain amount of time. If you returned before you are supposed to?, you are trespassing and the police are called. You see my point.

We have not only lost consequences for negative behavior, but positive behavior as well. Example? Field day at the elementary school level...everyone receives a participation ribbon. They no longer award a 1st, 2nd, 3rd place. Why should you compete if everyone ends up the same anyway--no winner. Are jobs still awarded to the most qualified person, the person who works the hardest? I was recently given a book (Boys Adrift by Dr. Leonard Sax) that questions the "why" concerning apathy in the young men of our society. The book points part of the blame at the lack of competition in our society. The author states that most boys thrive and rise to the occasion when faced with a challenge or competition. He goes on to say that our current society has taken competition away in many cases leaving in it's place an apathetic generation of young men. Of course there are other factors as well, but the growing number of young men living back at home with mom and dad well into their 30's is proof that something is out of kilter.

How can we expect people to make good choices if they aren't personally held accountable for their bad choices? In addition, how can we expect people to work hard and strive to achieve if we don't reward their hard work?

Whew....glad I got that off my chest!